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Wednesday, July 12th, 2006
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This message was sent using picture-talk messaging service from MetroPCS.
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| Lj-mood: calm my babies! |
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( 1 image )
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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So what would you do if someone told you that they were going to give you something, so you give them the money that you'd owe them for it, and they get it, and you try it, and it's fucking bogus?! now, i'm not talking like, $20 or something. I mean $100. You confront the person, and they can only say "it's not my fault."
You'd wanna kill them too, right?
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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I can see it now, have to show you how
the funny thing is that we couldn't have it any other way
still it kills me when we say
though all we've been through,
all the songs that I've sung for you
we both know I'm gonna lose you
I hate to be alone
there comes a time to reap what you've sewn
though all we've been through,
all the songs that I've sung for you
we both know I'm gonna lose you
Let's think of all the good times
instead of wish we could times
so much better that way
this is what I ask for, this is what I deserve
be careful what you ask for
Let's think of all the good times
instead of wish we could times
so much better that way
this is what I ask for, this is what I deserve
be careful what you ask for
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*Sighs*
Where to start.
I feel cut off. I know that sounds weird, but it feels so true. I love Robbie; he's proven he's trustworthy, loyal, and a provider. Matter of fact, if he wasn't with me I probably wouldn't be able to be where I am right now. Living in a place that I can truly call my own. This growing up thing sucks. If I would have thought that I would have to care for myself at such a young age, I would have started to put money away so long ago. But hey, that's life.
It's amazing to really think that I'm doing it. I mean, Louis and I always talked about getting our own place.. When he had his, it was nice. But it was his, and that was the problem. Not ours. Actually, his and a crazy lesbians' place.
I just feel like everything I stood for in all of my crazy independence in middle school is all dead. Like, if the me back then would see how soft me now is, she'd kick my ass and call me her bitch. I miss my old friends; Ben, Anju, Leah.. Hell, I even miss Whitney. Just how care-free we all made each other feel (or at least how they made me feel). When I was with them, we could act like total idiots and I wouldn't think twice about it.
...
Just got a look at the time, need to close up. More ranting tomorrow.. I guess.
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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Less than two months = 311!!
So I gave my two week notice here and will soon be going back to full-time dog slinging (with management, however). It'll be nice to be able to enjoy my apartment since I won't be working two jobs and I'll have nights to relax with Robbie. I want to go back to school too, especially before I take too long and any knowledge still retained in my resin-coated head drains away.
Um. We've got three kitties now; Gee (the older one that I stole/rescued from Uncle Steve), Tweak (an adorable 3 month black and white kitten that we got with $30 worth of cat supplies from a pet store), and this little baby (no more than a month and a half old) that we rescured from a litter of at least 14 living in a trailer park. He was so skinny when we got him that I thought he had a disease. Now he's got a little Buddha belly. We're not sure what we're going to name him, actually, we weren't even sure if we were going to keep him (still aren't) because he's got a potty problem; he likes our bed. Tweak was potty trained at least, but this one's proving difficult.
So yeah.. The end. For now.
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So I apologize to anyone who actually still thinks they should read this about my shitty entry yesterday. We finally got the internet at work (figures when I'm about to quit) but I don't want a certain co-worker knowing because they have an obsession with MySpace.
Things are slowly progressing for me. I'm driving my own car and now I've finally got my own place... Well, it's Robbie and my place. Actually, if it wasn't for Robbie we wouldn't be here. Thankfully he's a lot better at saving money than I am. This place is gorgeous, it's a 1/1 but it's like paradise. We've got our own fenced in patio as a backyard from our bedroom. And then the apartment building we're in has three other units aside from us; two are effencies (rooms that were once part of the two main apartments on the end of the building) and the other end unit is our landlord. This is all a locked gate community. In the back of the building, there's a "common area" with a pool, washer and dryer, coy fish pond, bbq pit, and a chained up dinosaur. I love it.
I'll write more tomorrow at work. Just wanted to apologize and moisten your tastebuds.
-BuNNi
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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Saturday, June 10th, 2006
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things are nice.
robbie and i are together.
we just got our own place.
i'm driving everywhere.
uh. and i'm getting off work now.
more on monday.
^_^
-BuNNi
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Thursday, December 22nd, 2005
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| Subject: | Yay |
| Time: | 11:28 pm. |
| Mood: |  just... =P. | | Music: | Gee purring on my lap. |
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So I have my car down here in Ft. Lauderdale. My Oma drove down here today and is staying overnight with my boss. I'm going in the morning to get the title switched to my name.
AWESOME!
Now I need my liscence. And preferably a better job.
Time for bed, early tonight... Robbie's already lying down. I feel bad still being up, like I can feel the bad vibrations from me still being up coming from him. Weird? I dunno, I get that feeling from him a lot.
*shrugs*
Chas gots me lotsa AA batteries for my camera from his Uncle. Hopefully Duracell works better than Energizer, otherwise this 36 pack will last me all of 3 days.
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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Monday, December 19th, 2005
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I hate the mall...
The evil crowds of people; the ones who walk the wrong way, plowing their way through people. And the others who walk so slow that they cause a line of people jammed up behind them. Working around groups of people all day is bad enough, but having to be in the middle of a thousand or so people on some of the worst shopping days is not what I wanted to do. I did get most of my shopping done though, there's still a few small things I need to pick up. I got Robbie an air purifier, and he opened it early because he guessed. He let me open my present today, and it's a really nice Digital Camera.
I'm so happy. I took an awesome picture of my blue bowl and put it on my background. I'm uploading them right now as to share some of their beauties. However, since my connection sucks ass, I'll have to stall by writing an entry.
Holy crap, it's almost 1 AM. I have to work tomorrow. Fuck, oh well.
Chaz-Man got Robbie and I "THE DEVIL'S REJECTS" for XMas; I cannot put into words the way that movie was. It's ... it had a ... It was Tootie-fuckin'-frutie. :-) Rob Zombie has totally earned much more respect... except for the very end of the movie, that was a bit of a let down. WHERE'S THE AWESOME POWER OF A TRILOGY?! That's the end of the line, I guess.
So I don't understand why I even have AIM on anymore. No one ever IM's me. I should just make a new screen name all together, it wouldn't really make a difference. I'd like to either do ToKiNBuNNi420, or FiReINtheHoLe420. More details to come.
Well, here's the moment we've all been waiting for... Big Blue.
http://geocities.com/spechielxbunni/IMG_0006.JPG
That's abuut all I have to say tonight. Until further notice..
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Comments: Read 6 or Add Your Own.
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Sunday, December 18th, 2005
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How I miss the feel of late-night internet action. The sensation of knowing that you can spend ungodly ammounts of hours surfing the web while weak, puny humans slept. Haha. But, wait, BuNNi doesn't have the internet... how is she posting?
THANK YOU ADAM! I <3 YOU!
My friend Adam has agreed to let Robbie and I share his screen name in the wee hours of the night after his family's done with it. Yay. Even if it is just a shitty 56k AOL set up... It's still the internet.
I was already here before, writing this same entry, when AOL had a spaz attack and shit on my computer, causing it to reboot for some reason. So, I lost everything. However, I am kind enough to make a brief synopsis:
Robbie and I are still together. We live and work together, and we're going on a year in February.
Work is horrible, but I just threatened to quit and got $1 raise instead, so I guess it could be worse.
I'm so totally getting my car this week.. XD!!! Disclaimer: I don't have my liscence.. I've tried, but I need my DATA certificate and I can't get a copy of mine because of some too-busy teacher at the laziest high school in Florida.
Wow, that was so much quicker than the entry that I wrote last time.
Oh, I won tickets to the 93.1 ROCK Christmas Khaos. Couldn't go, I had to work and had no ride. I called th radio station back and told them to ive them to someone else, and requested a song. The guy said I sucked (jokingly) and agreed to play the song. He never played the song, and for some reason, that disappointed me more than not going to the concert.
Well, I'm going to go do something else. Watch a flash, surf for a shop, or maybe just enjoy some image surfing. Until next time,
BuNNi
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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Sunday, November 27th, 2005
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Well well well... She's alive.
I figured I'd ease the pain of the few out there who might worry about me. Yes, I'm still kicking, just without internet access.
Robbie and I are doing fine, we've been living together since we started dating, and just hit our 9 month anniversary.
Working sucks. For those of you in school, stay there and don't skip or fuck it up. You'll end up working full time for a boss who doesn't appreciate the intelligence that it seems only you know you have.
I'm only in Chiefland 'til tomorrow morning, and i feel real sick. Night.
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Comments: Read 11 or Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, April 13th, 2005
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| Subject: | Whoa! |
| Time: | 7:32 pm. |
| Mood: |  ~*hippie mode*~ , lol... | | Music: | Gone Til Novemer - Wyclef Jean. |
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Hey hey hey there world, guess who's finally growing up?
That's right, Lil' Miss Brittney finally got herself a job.
{insert huge grin here}
Well, I'm hired at least. I haven't started working yet. Tomorrow's my first day of training at Michael's Chicago Style Red Hots off Broward Blvd. They're starting me as part-time because I have no experience in the resturant business, but Jay (the manager) said that in 30 days he'll reconsider my pay and my employment times. Hardcore.
I also got a new cell phone (FINALLY) so those of you who don't hear from me anymore, please don't feel bad. I lost all my numbers in my other piece of crap phone. Call me!
Things are really starting to come to a good point in my life. I've finally found work, so I can start becoming supportive of myself. And me not being in school (for the time) is giving me the extra time I need to accomplish that and be able to focus on my ... let's just say, religious choices. I've really become more secure in my beliefs, and it makes me feel more at peace. :).
Hmm. Well, I guess I'll leave it at that.
Take care, eljay.
Mwa. @~{~
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Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.
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Saturday, March 19th, 2005
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F:Your Beauty lies
in Contradiction. Controversial, unpredictable, and
never what anyone expects.
You appearance and your personality are two
opposite things. Even your
appearance sends different signals to different
people. To some you may look
innocent and sweet, to others you look mysterious
and intimidating at the same
time. No one ever knows what to expect with you.
You are a little bit of
everything all mixed together. You can be watching
the football game with the
guys one minute and the next out shopping at the
mall. You seem to be almost a
different person every time you meet someone, but
at the same time you know
exactly who you are and there is always that one
thing that makes you you. You
enjoy keeping people guessing and people love how
completely unpredictable you
are.
Some Things
That Represent You:
Element:
Fire, Water Animal: Chameleon Color:
Dark Tones, Light
Tones Song: Everything by Alanis Morriesette
Expression:
Half-smile
Gemstone:
Opal Mythological Creature: Gryphon,
Half-breeds Planet: Mars Hair
Color: Red Eye Color:
Brown
Quote:
"Appearances can be deceiving."
Where Does Your Beauty Lie? ..::Original Pictures Are Back! Detailed Results::..
brought to you by Quizilla
+ + + +
You have an entrancing kiss~ the kind that leaves
your partner bedazzled and maybe even feeling
he/she is dreaming. Quite effective; the kiss
that never lessens and always blows your
partner away like the first time.
What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Oh. My. God. Becky. LOOK at her butt... It's soooo... Wait, wrong subject.
So if you all can't tell by the last entry that I left last night and this one, THERE'S A COMPUTER (with internet access ^_~) IN CHIEFLAND! YAYNESS!! So I can now give you all the update that I should have done last night but didn't because Strongbad is just that much better. :)
Okay, on to the subject of what's been happening. Well here's the scoop:
School's out of the picture for the time being (LONG story that I REALLY don't want to get into right now). What I'd really like to accomplish is getting a job; a nice, well paying job. And since appx. half of middle-aged adults don't even get that, I don't see a very high chance for myself either. Still, I'm still going on and trying to find something suitable with a decent pay. I'd like to do something like data entry or secretary/receptionist work, but being only 17 with no previous experience (with the exception of all the crap I did as the S1/Admin chief in ROTC) makes it quite difficult. I'm planning on re-enrolling in school next school year, and taking the exit option program.
Relationships are such a pain in the ass, and I'm really too young to be all caught up in one, however I find myself in one again with dear, sweet Robert. I can't believe how blind I've been this whole time. While running around like a chicken with my head cutt off, letting my "mate" tell me what I can/can not wear and how I can/can not act, I failed to see the one person who was with me through it all and saw me as nothing more than that: just me. Robert, or as a few of us like to call him, 'Nny, knows who I am and just the way that I am, and he has no problem with it. I love that about him. I mean, he even hates cigarettes, yet hasn't asked me to stop smoking. That baffles me, but still, I appreciate that so much. We started dating on February 21st, and we'll just have to wait and see what happens. :).
Other than that, what else is really new? Hm. Nothing really, heh.
So until I become bored up here in the middle of nowhere, I remain yours...
The one...
The only...
The BuNNi
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Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.
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I'm ALIVE!!
So yeah, the whole deal is that my computer totally turned into the piece of shit I never wanted it to be, so now I have no internet access what so ever (since I'm out of school and all). SUCK! MY! ASS!
...
Yeah.
So, what's new in my world? Who really cares? I'm dating the adorable Robert and things are going real well. He's moved into my aunt and uncles house.
And just as how quickly I was excited by the chance to update my eljay, I've lost interest.
Strongbad cartoons, here I come.
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Comments: Read 5 or Add Your Own.
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Thursday, January 20th, 2005
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BOLD THE THINGS THAT APPLY TO YOU:
01. I have kissed someone of the same sex on the lips.
02. I (used to)see a therapist.
03. I'm the youngest child.
04. I am drawn to things associated with sadness.
05. I did love my gauged earrings.
06. I wear black eyeliner every day.
07. I am extremely influenced by kindness.
08. I love to write, even though I think I suck at it.
09. I can't live without lipgloss.
10. I'm
11. I lived in Tahoe.
12. I spend money I have.
13. I'll be in college for over 4 years.
14. I love designer handbags.
15. I've had a concussion before.
16. I'm not good with confrontation.
17. I loved the Backstreet Boys Hanson and the Spice Girls.
18. I have more than a couple of horrible memories.
19. I'm addicted to Degrassi. There is no show I hate more, unless it's a reality show.
20. I've tried writing poetry before but it sucked.
21. My first kiss was unexpected.
22. I'm not a fan of rap.
23. I love taking pictures.
24. I hate girls who are fake.
25. I can be mean when I want to.
26. When I allow myself to get close to people, I get very attached.
27. I am bisexual.
28. I have way too many pairs of shoes.
29. I was into Hot Wheels as a child.
30. I dress how I feel that day.
31. My room is painted a colour other than white.
32. I cry (fairly) very easily.
33. I'm always early, if I can help it.
34. I barely ever never study for tests.
35. My birthday is my favourite holiday.
36. I have too many clothes for my closet/dresser.
37. I am (NOT) a morning person.
38. I wish I was smarter.
39. I believe that it is wrong to be gay.
40. I don't blame gay people for being gay.
41. No one really knows me.
42. I don't have many bad hair days.
43. I sometimes fight with my parents.
44. I am passionate about my interests.
45. I have had the chicken pox.
46. I'm a hopeless romantic.
47. I feel empty sometimes.
48. I am/was clinically depressed at a point in my life.
49. I am no longer depressed because of medication.
50. I am very outgoing when I feel like it.
51. Christmas/Chanuka is is my favorite holiday.
52. I can be very insecure.
53. I don't notice it, but I'm told I'm very softspoken.
54. I hate ignorant people.
55. I love the colour yellow purple.
56. I love guys/girls who play the guitar.
57. I state the obvious in a nicely sarcastic way.
58. I'm a moody person. Unfortunately.
59. I sometimes have a low self-confidence.
60. I've contemplated suicide.
61. I hate cleaning my room.
62. I tend to get jealous.
63. I like to play video games.
64. I love to play DDR.
65. I get more upset when I see an animal hurt than a person.
66. I'm a vegetarian/vegan/don't eat meat.
67. I've had a crush on a teacher before.
68. I am too forgiving. In many cases.
70. I have an excellent sense of direction.
71. I'm happy with my life most of the time.
72. I've played a musical instrument for more than 5 years.
73. I can sometimes function perfectly well without a girlfriend/boyfriend.
74. I love kisses on the forehead.
75. I love the colour blue purple.
76. I don't sew.
77. I am not addicted to drugs.
78. I wear contacts.
79. I don't really care about politics.
80. I hate Bush, but I have reasons to justify it.
81. I don't take criticism well.
82. Conformity is stupid.
83. I love Colin Farrell.
84. Rockerska boys/chicks turn me on.
85. I love my Frenchies family.
86. I don't mind getting shots, but everything else needle-related terrifies me.
87. I am a perfectionist when it comes to certain multiple things.
88. I always wanted to learn to play the guitar.
89. I can be too hard on myself.
90. I don't believe that premarital sex is wrong.
91. I don't like my nose.
92. I am very religious.
93. I still act like a little kid at times.
94. I am ridiculously indecisive.
95. I believe in a higher power or some form of an afterlife.
96. I love music.
97. I'm in love.
98. I have problems letting go of people.
99. Ashlee Simpson is awesome deserves to be shot before another so-called note comes out of her mouth. I can't stand her.
100. I don't really like ice cream.
- Stolen from Ms. Cleo
**
Feel like I'm going to be sick.
Uncle Steve bought me The Urbz: Sims in the City last night. Goodbye world, I'll be locked in my room for some time to come.
I beat Kingdom Hearts all on my own this weekend. I'm so proud. And I reserved a copy of Kingdom Hearts 2 while I was there. XD!
Mike left Friday to go up to Detroit. He said he'd call me when he got there. I haven't heard from him since.
Louis is getting friendly again. I think I'm getting friendly back though... =/.
Fuck, my stomache hurts! Ugh.
Went to the jetti's with Lou,Justin, and some other people on *thinks* Monday night. We went cave exploring, and it was actually pretty cool. They all got drunk, and almost everyone lost something. I lost a cigarette, Justin lost a flashlight, this girl lost her shoes, and some kid named Tommy lost his cell phone and his wallet.
Sucks to be them.
I spoke with Oma & Opa yesterday, and apparently I'm spending my week of spring break up in Cheifland. *le uber sigh*. I told them I wanted to spend a few days with them, but I guess I don't get any say in it yet.
*crosses off another day on the calander*
Less than 9 months...
18...
FREEDOM!
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Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.
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Thursday, January 13th, 2005
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So I just spent the past *glances at clock on wall* 50 minutes taking quizzes and pasting all of the results on here, and when I went to press Update, the computer decided to crap on me and not do it, ERASING everything I just did.
Damnit man.
I think I still have something copied and pasted:
Well, that wasn't the best one, but at least it's one. ^_^.
In other news, I got my other tattoo on Tuesday. Tish and I both got the same one on the outside of our right ankel; it's a tiny little flower, like a violet, with a heart in the middle of it. It's really pretty actually, everyone who's seen it is like "OMG!" and all that stuff. I'll eventually get a picture of it and show it to you all, unless you know me in person and are capable of seeing me and you ask me about it. Then I'll show you, and then you can laugh and say "Ha! I saw it before all ye eljay friends! Bwahaha!"
Sorry, I'm on my 2nd Mountain Dew of the morning, on top of a travel size cup of coffee.
I've been having trouble waking up in the morning for school because for the whole winter break, my bed time was the time I have to get up. *le sigh*
Mike called me yesterday. ^_^. I sent him a text message that said "don't stress yourself too much" because of all the work he's doing at the office for the upcoming film, and he called me and was like "I was just about to call you!" {insert cheesy grin here}. So I ended up going over there around 2130 (9:30 pm, for those of you who don't know military time), and we shot some pool and just hung out. They left to go to the store around 2340 (11:40 pm), so I just walked home. Mike rode up behind me and just kinda stopped in front of my house and looked at me. I can't stand when I'm unable to figure a person out, and he's a perfect example. There's times where it seems like he has an interest in me (like the look he gave me last night when we said goodbye), and then there's times where he doesn't really acknowledge me. I think it's just because of all the crap he's got going on in his mind right now. That's okay, I can wait. ^_^.
Lou is mad at me again, but what's new? He read my last eljay post and found out about Mike and freaked out. Doesn't matter anyway, I don't think things with him will work out (or even get going, for that matter). I hope they do, but I don't think they will.
*shrugs*
Bellsouth DSL is a rip off. They advertise $9.95 a month for the first 6 months? Yeah, maybe that's what you have left in your pocket after paying the bill. The phone bill came in a few days ago at $188.96.
...
$188.96
Can you believe that?! Ahh! That's so crazy. So I called them and just told them to leave me alone, that's way too much money to pay for an internet that I can't even use because my computer's broken. I hate being a broke white girl, but I am what I am.
I was sitting out in front of the Metro PCS, T-Mobile, & Cingular store last night with the girls while waiting for Uncle Steve and Tish to get their new phones, and I watched about 5 limos drive by. It made me sad. It's really hard to explain why, but it did. I guess it's because my dreams and aspirations involve me having a decent amount of money. I want to be secure when I get older, not have to scramble around like my parents had to while they were around, or how the rest of my family still does. I want to live comfortably, and I guess seeing cars like that just make me realize that there's people out there with all this money and no plans for life. They just take it all for granted, living it up and never knowing any other way to live. Spoiled rotten comes to a true meaning.
J-red just called me. He's getting his liscence tomorrow, so he needed directions to the place. Luckily, the wonderfully amazing Brittney was on the job (and near a computer, ^_^).
Freshman Luis is playing some weird Western shoot out game next to me, and I just screamed out "Shoot him!" really loud. Everyone just got kind of quiet. Oops? ~__~()
I want to start working on my website again. I feel empty without having a computer at home to mess around on. I miss Photoshop.. I miss AIM.. And I know that if I had a computer, I'd be home more often at least. I talked to Oma yesterday, and she said she was going to speak to Deputy Bob about getting me a new computer. Wo0t!
Oh yeah! I'm sitting here, trying to recap the last two days in my mind so that I can write more stuff, and I just realized there's something I haven't written about yet.
I cut my hair! Yep, I did it myself this past weekend. It's about shoulder-length, and I even cut the front at an angle so that it'd do that weird feather out stuff that the old guy I used to go to did (damn, what is it with me and all these run-on sentences today?). People say it looks good. I think it looks good. It's short, like a secretary, according to my uncle. A few people said it makes me look like a Japanese school girl.
Oh. I also want to schedule a Parkway Middle reunion. Anyone who is interested in helping me plan this event, get ahold of me. We'll talk later, the bell's going to ring soon and I'm pretty posted out.
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Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.
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So I just spent the past *glances at clock on wall* 50 minutes taking quizzes and pasting all of the results on here, and when I went to press Update, the computer decided to crap on me and not do it, ERASING everything I just did.
Damnit man.
I think I still have something copied and pasted:
Well, that wasn't the best one, but at least it's one. ^_^.
In other news, I got my other tattoo on Tuesday. Tish and I both got the same one on the outside of our right ankel; it's a tiny little flower, like a violet, with a heart in the middle of it. It's really pretty actually, everyone who's seen it is like "OMG!" and all that stuff. I'll eventually get a picture of it and show it to you all, unless you know me in person and are capable of seeing me and you ask me about it. Then I'll show you, and then you can laugh and say "Ha! I saw it before all ye eljay friends! Bwahaha!"
Sorry, I'm on my 2nd Mountain Dew of the morning, on top of a travel size cup of coffee.
I've been having trouble waking up in the morning for school because for the whole winter break, my bed time was the time I have to get up. *le sigh*
Mike called me yesterday. ^_^. I sent him a text message that said "don't stress yourself too much" because of all the work he's doing at the office for the upcoming film, and he called me and was like "I was just about to call you!" {insert cheesy grin here}. So I ended up going over there around 2130 (9:30 pm, for those of you who don't know military time), and we shot some pool and just hung out. They left to go to the store around 2340 (11:40 pm), so I just walked home. Mike rode up behind me and just kinda stopped in front of my house and looked at me. I can't stand when I'm unable to figure a person out, and he's a perfect example. There's times where it seems like he has an interest in me (like the look he gave me last night when we said goodbye), and then there's times where he doesn't really acknowledge me. I think it's just because of all the crap he's got going on in his mind right now. That's okay, I can wait. ^_^.
Lou is mad at me again, but what's new? He read my last eljay post and found out about Mike and freaked out. Doesn't matter anyway, I don't think things with him will work out (or even get going, for that matter). I hope they do, but I don't think they will.
*shrugs*
Bellsouth DSL is a rip off. They advertise $9.95 a month for the first 6 months? Yeah, maybe that's what you have left in your pocket after paying the bill. The phone bill came in a few days ago at $188.96.
...
$188.96
Can you believe that?! Ahh! That's so crazy. So I called them and just told them to leave me alone, that's way too much money to pay for an internet that I can't even use because my computer's broken. I hate being a broke white girl, but I am what I am.
I was sitting out in front of the Metro PCS, T-Mobile, & Cingular store last night with the girls while waiting for Uncle Steve and Tish to get their new phones, and I watched about 5 limos drive by. It made me sad. It's really hard to explain why, but it did. I guess it's because my dreams and aspirations involve me having a decent amount of money. I want to be secure when I get older, not have to scramble around like my parents had to while they were around, or how the rest of my family still does. I want to live comfortably, and I guess seeing cars like that just make me realize that there's people out there with all this money and no plans for life. They just take it all for granted, living it up and never knowing any other way to live. Spoiled rotten comes to a true meaning.
J-red just called me. He's getting his liscence tomorrow, so he needed directions to the place. Luckily, the wonderfully amazing Brittney was on the job (and near a computer, ^_^).
Freshman Luis is playing some weird Western shoot out game next to me, and I just screamed out "Shoot him!" really loud. Everyone just got kind of quiet. Oops? ~__~()
I want to start working on my website again. I feel empty without having a computer at home to mess around on. I miss Photoshop.. I miss AIM.. And I know that if I had a computer, I'd be home more often at least. I talked to Oma yesterday, and she said she was going to speak to Deputy Bob about getting me a new computer. Wo0t!
Oh yeah! I'm sitting here, trying to recap the last two days in my mind so that I can write more stuff, and I just realized there's something I haven't written about yet.
I cut my hair! Yep, I did it myself this past weekend. It's about shoulder-length, and I even cut the front at an angle so that it'd do that weird feather out stuff that the old guy I used to go to did (damn, what is it with me and all these run-on sentences today?). People say it looks good. I think it looks good. It's short, like a secretary, according to my uncle. A few people said it makes me look like a Japanese school girl.
Oh. I also want to schedule a Parkway Middle reunion. Anyone who is interested in helping me plan this event, get ahold of me. We'll talk later, the bell's going to ring soon and I'm pretty posted out.
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Tuesday, January 11th, 2005
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(NOTE: I don't know how most people read poetry, but read this one by the punctuation, not the spacing. I just wanted to make it look pertiful. ^_^)
You watched from behind the glass
As your heart injected me with a sting of viral death.
You watched as it began to seep through my body,
Slowly at first.
In the catacombs of my mind
It began to grow.
Tiny viruses attached to every receptor;
Draining me of my happiness,
Ripping apart my insides,
Drowning every color from my eyes.
All is now gray.
You watched my mouth open wide
When I tried to scream,
And I saw the delight in your face when you realized
Your disease had stolen my voice.
You watched as I began to rip at my own flesh,
Though I doubt it was really flesh anymore.
More of a twisted resemblance
Of something that was once human.
You watched a helpless look appear in my eye
As I saw the infection climb up my arm,
Across my neck to my face.
And yet, you still only watched
As I fell to my knees in agony
While the illness,
The love you corrupted,
Stole my last breath.
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Monday, January 10th, 2005
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Updates from the personal journal:
* * *
Jan. 5th, 2004; start: 0209
First things first, Happy New Year! I live at Uncle Bob's now. Actually, I have for the past two months. It's not too bad; close to school (when I decide to go), and I've met two cool guys, one of which... Well, let's not jump ahead in the story.
My last entry was 11/22/04 - 8 days before the relationship truly died. Now, we continued dating (maybe for the sake of trying to keep ourselves together), but I felt like it had been over since I got the tattoo.
Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but love (to me, anyways, and in the end who else really matters?) is oblivious to anything on the outside of the skin, ne? Then if you really love someone, you would continue to love them just as much with a tattoo. Well what is it called when someone you've confessed your undying love to gets a tattoo and you totally freak out, want to leave them, tell them you will if they don't get rid of it (although he did offer to pay for it), and demand that you get tested for HIV/AIDS before they come see you? Doesn't fucking sound like love to me.
Slowly but surely, Stephen and I fell apart. Few days short of New Years, but after Christmas, we had a spat and I think that was it. He stopped calling, but I think that was after I stopped answering. *shrugs*
Then there's another case in the Louis files. Apparentally Louis was planning to do this big, romantic and/or dramatic thing on New Years and whisk me away somewhere and ask me back out. Plans don't always go how you want them to. He threatened to kill himself, screamed at me, and drunk himself over the border of stupidity.
And that brings me to my new fix, Tattoo Mike (or more formerly known as Michael Wade). He's gorgeous. Tall, tatted, pierced, and in shape. *heart*. Not only is he sexy, charming, and almost impossible to resist, but he's so fucking talented! *another heart*. Been playing guitar since he was 8, rides BMX, plays pool practically like a God (which is another thing I've been doing lately, playing pool), tattoos and pierces (with a liscence, mind you), and he's an independant film producer. He sleeps with music on, and has a varied taste in music: Garth Brooks, Sarah McLachlan, Manson, and Chemical Brothers all in one CD book. He's into jazz too.. :).
* * *
Beyond that, nothing new has changed. My computer is still broken, so my updates will only be made when I have access to a computer (more or less every 1st hour again, lest I decide to stop coming to school again *shame*shame*).
I wrote a poem last night that I feel needs to be posted. Sadly, I don't have it with me. It's for Stephen; for how niave I was to what he was doing to me. You'll just have to read it to understand.
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spechielxbunni's journal
i want to kill something...
i feel sick...
what the fuck!?.
toke! toke! toke! toke!.
just another faceless blur....
puking really sucks...
Quizzes!! Quizzes!!.
Tap-a, Tap-a, Tap-a!.